Its a mans world ! theres no denying that.No wonder we have intelliGENT but not intelliLADY.
What girls dont understand is that men are inherently single tasking animals. They cant drive and listen to their rants, cant phone and work at the same time, cant drink coffee and stir it at the same time. etc etc.
We dont study people and judge them by the tone of their voice. We have a sense of humor at everything. Yes. Everything. They dont seem to understand and seem to have various mood for various situations.For us Life is a joke.No one gets out alive , isnt it ?
Like the last week I used the "incorrect tone" at a girl and found that her mobile was unreachable till midnight. Panic seized me as i called Mo and explained what happened. Oh dont worry. He chuckled. Whats the max that could happen ? Even if she ran away from home we will have her name and photo in tomorrows newpaper. Thats it !
Well he IS a typical male. I must admit.
But girls do they understand ? Considering the following situations i dont think so.
Scene 1) I am looking for a parking spot to park my car and driving along scanning the perimeters of road. "Shall we park there ? " i asked her. "No" she said "dont park infront of people's house. They deflate the tires"
"Well i can only see girls in the house " I said
"What makes you think girls wont deflate tyres ?"
"Well " i replied "if they could locate the tyre they would "
She put on a disgusted look on her face
"i dont know why you guys (undermine a girl , think so big) etc etc" i couldnt hear the rest of the sentence coz i found a parking spot and was concentrating on parking there.
Well. This time she was correct. There were four girls in front of the house and the probablity of one of the four girls correctly locating one of the four wheels were high.
Scene 2) Serious conversation on phone (Like on how to reduce poverty , misery and suffering, nagging in the world etc etc)
Me: " Oh yes. i See" nodding so vigourously my head literally came off and bounced on the floor.
She: " I suppose you find this funny"
Me: " NO !"
She : "What do you mean No"
Me: I mean no. its not funny. (honestly , whats the answer)
She: Your tone suggested other wise
Me: (Silent.Be still my beating heart)
She: Why are you silent ? Do you mean something
Me:No. NO
She: NO ?
Me: I went into a diabetic coma and cant remember how i wriggled out of this situation.
Scene 3)
I am concentrating on my work(or atleast pretending to do so) and staring so hard at the computer that its burning a hole in the monitor Like any typical alpha male I can concentrate on only ONE thing at a time.And suddenly i hear her voice
"What database are you using ?"
Me: (totally out of synch. Was dreaming about vacation in hawaii. What the heck is a database ? Where am i ?I gotta say something in order to avoid being branded a dumbo) Well... hmmm... there are many databases.
She: (nearly a shriek) what the hell do you mean by there are many databases ? There is only one, the DB23i !
Me: (well. I WAS dumb. there was only one database and I dont remember its name ? Shame on me!)
Cheers NB. Hope you got me now.
Scene 4)
Mo has got a run of the mill camera and he has got an text sms of Dia Mirza in it. He shows the phone to his colleague and says its a mobile with camera.She is excited and asks him to snap her photo. He turns the mobile to her, presses a few buttons and shows the Dia Mirza SMS to her.
She: oh how sweet
Mo: (yaar cheeti na lag jaya) Yea.
Scene 5)
I am dropping off my colleague who just had her house shifted to a new locality.
She: yes, its somewhere near. The buildings are familiar
Me: hmm (all building are made of bricks and concrete and SHOULD be familiar)
She: i guess its this lane. Or maybe the next one. I clearly remember there was a road in front of my house.
Me: (phew. what a elephantine memory)
Scene 6( The last time in my life i played a prank on a girl)
I call her up and in a husky voice: This is inispector Daroga from Lajpat Nagar pulice station. We have found your I Card near a FIR Spot. Can you please report to us by 7 PM? Try to bring some clothes incase you have to stay overnight in the jail.
She: (A literal heart seizure and a break down)It cant be. I am new to Delhi.
Me: It dont matter. FIR is a FIR.
(a few seconds of pestering later)
Me: Relax. its me . Dirty D0ggy.
She: What ?
Me: its me. its just a joke.
She: No you are lying. you are the Police.
Me:(oh God ! how do i get myself out of this.Then got her dearest friend to explain all this)
Well. I am short of words. Honestly.
